The importance of Coffee in Game Development

WARNING: this article is a work of humor, do not take this seriously.


Many have heard of the creature known as the Real Programmer. This creature is often considered a relic of times passed, in fact I have even heard rumors that the real programmer has gone extinct. In reality there are still a few real programmers around but sometimes they hide in plain sight. They don’t usually use FORTRAN anymore, but they sure as hell write assembly language, not because they need to but because they want to, they enjoy it and they don’t trust the compiler to do it for them. In fact there is only one thing a real programmer enjoys more than writing assembly language code:



To the real programmer this is the only meaning of the word JAVA. The real programmer enjoys coffee in any form. When the real programmer stumbles out of bed at 11:00 AM, the first thing he does is get a cup of coffee, maybe two or three. Once sufficiently caffeinated the real programmer sits down in front of his IBM model M keyboard and drinks usually one more cup before starting.


Whether you consider yourself a real programmer or not, coffee is an essential ingredient for any creative pursuit, especially game development and some attention should be payed to how you get it. Personally I drink espresso or cappuccino but a good ol’ cup of black drip coffee works just as well. It has been said that a programmer is an organism capable of converting caffeine into code, but in the world of game development, caffeine is converted into all sorts of things such as music and art as well as code. Truthfully I don’t know if I could get anything done without it.


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